


What it really feels like

by InLust



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, First Time, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 08:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3168401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InLust/pseuds/InLust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma experiences her firsts with Skye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What it really feels like

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve read a lot of first time prompts and I’ve never actually wrote one before. This one is a little bit personal for me because well everyone’s firsts are different but I really wanted to change up the prompt a little bit and show the progression of a relationship that has a lot of doubt, caring, and whimsical love mixed in with it.
> 
> This is an AU, when Jemma and Skye are in college in England. I hope you guys can relate to some level on this or you can just plain like it haha anyways enjoy!

Jemma thought back to when she had her firsts. She was 19 and Skye was 21. They were both studying at the university in England. Skye had worked hard to come from America. No parents, constantly working hard, seizing opportunities. Whereas, Jemma…was Jemma. Jemma with parents that were always there. Parents that supported her and allowed her to chase her dream without any concerns. They were part of two different worlds but their love had bound them together.

It’s funny what Jemma considered to be her “first” time. It wasn’t when she decided to take a leap of faith and kiss Skye. It wasn’t when she decided that it was the right time for Skye and her to have sex.  _ **No**_ , it was very much  _different_.

It’s funny when Jemma first kissed Skye, it was Skye that was unsure about her sexuality.

Jemma knew she loved Skye first. She wanted to love Skye but didn’t know if Skye would allow it.

"I am scared," Skye whispered in the darkness.

It wasn’t uncommon that Jemma slept over Skye’s dorm. Despite the small twin size bed, Jemma pretended like the proximity didn’t matter. They had been sharing a bed for far too long without them even realizing what that meant. The nights where Jemma just felt content to have company. All the scientist knew was that she had no chance with Skye. Skye was a straight girl with hopes and dreams of a Grade A Career and living her life in a white picket fence home with a  **man**.

It was the same dream Jemma  _should’ve had_.

So when Skye admitted she was scared, all Jemma found herself asking was, “Of what?”

"Of  _this_.”

Jemma was scared. They both knew what this meant. It meant a change. From their friendship to a… **relationship**. It meant that they were—- ** _different_**.

She was scared that when Skye leaned closer on that impossibly small twin size bed that her heart was going to get broken. But nevertheless, she pushed all the doubt out of her mind and pressed her lips gently against Skye’s.

It was the first time that when Jemma took a leap of faith, she had landed on something solid.

The first time that they had sex was extremely different. It was a different type of fear. At least for Jemma. She didn’t know if she could.. _measure_   _up_. Skye had a boyfriend before and a couple of people she fooled around with.

Jemma was a virgin. For Jemma, this meant something. She had been 19 years old and still hadn’t had a serious relationship before. Jemma wanted to save herself for someone that really mattered but Skye was someone she had trusted.

They were in Jemma’s bed, she remembered clearly. They had been making out off and on for the past couple of weeks. Skye extremely enthusiastic and willing to participate. However, Jemma couldn’t ever bring herself to let Skye touch  _her_.

What she really felt on the other hand, touched  _her heart_.

Skye had been straddling her in bed, placing gentle kisses on to her lips as her hands tentatively touched Jemma’s sides. Jemma could feel her body tremble to the touches. Her hands flew to Skye’s biceps and held them lightly as Skye’s cool hands touch her skin.

The scientist finds that nature versus nurture becomes a big part of her life at this point. When she grew up, “right and proper” as Skye likes to joke, it was noticeable that there were traditions that Jemma wanted to follow. Waiting for marriage was one of those things.

Jemma whimpered as Skye moved to kiss her neck. Her hands are moving further up Jemma’s shirt and the scientist noticeably froze up.

Skye picked up her head and stared at the younger girl with concern. “Are you okay?” she whispered with seriousness.

"Mm hmm." Jemma nodded furiously as she relaxed her hands.

"Jemma…," Skye’s breath gently caressed her face. She removed a hand from under Jemma’s shirt and brought it to her cheek. "Your eyes are closed."

She shot her eyes open. In the dark, she could still make out Skye’s rich chocolate eyes. She didn’t even notice her eyes had been closed. Her throat felt dry.

The older girl couldn’t say anything. She just stared with a questioning look on her face.

"I’m fine," Jemma whispered as she nodded. More like she was trying to convince herself.

Skye sensed this and slowly began to move off of Jemma. The younger girl protested and held her hand still. Her eyes fell shut again as she thought about what she wanted Skye to do. To  _take her_.

"Skye—-," Jemma rasped out. Skye focused on the girl underneath her. "I—" She took a breath because she knew she couldn’t take it back. "I—We  _should_ —” Jemma felt frustrated with herself. She was always do or don’t and right now she was in the middle like a coward. Instead, she took one of Skye’s hands and guided it inside of her jeans slowly. “ _ **Please**_ —”

"Are you sure?" Skye asked quickly trying to pull her hand out of Jemma’s jeans but her hand had stopped her. Skye felt responsible for Jemma, she knew it was a big deal. She knew Jemma wanted to wait until marriage. She didn’t know if they would ever get to that point in their relationship.

_Jemma didn’t know either._

But the younger girl nodded. She wanted Skye. And she wanted Skye to _have her_.

"Skye…I  _trust_ **you**.”

Jemma could remember the slight pain as Skye had pushed two fingers into her. Her heart trembled, while her body shook. She couldn’t tell if it was the right time but she knew it felt right  _ **with Skye**_.

The next morning, she knew that feeling different was a state of mind that people had long conditioned into the culture. She was a woman now.  _No,_  Jemma knew better. In her body and heart, it was right. She had given her body to Skye.

Her mind…felt like it was  _wrong_.

———————————————

The real first time that Jemma felt was a few months after.

Skye never liked leaving their rooms with Jemma much. During the day was when prying eyes and questioning looks would frighten Skye. But Skye had decided that they go out to lunch together for the first time.

As they walked down the street a few friendly feet apart, their distance suddenly shrank. Just as Jemma noticed and moved to give more distance, it was Skye’s hand that caught hers and pulled her in. And they walked hand in hand, Skye steeled herself against even the friendliest of stares but it was a start.

It was the first time that Skye had taken Jemma. It was the first time that Jemma felt like Skye had taken everything Jemma gave her.

_Her love._


End file.
